I understand people like you to well. Please don't misenturprate my reply as rudeness, but as an honest view of people with your background.

You believe in God out of despricality of a divine justice because you feel that people should burn alive for all eternity for being human, being that humans are instictvely cruel and malicious. Out of a desperate plea to find someone who could be your walking stick in your harsh time, you fell into the illusion of a God because of it, completely avoiding the thought of the consequences to those beliefs. Every opinion has a backfire, but this rarely occures as a thought to anyone really. There are the insane religions that would literally demand people of your religion to be murdered, it's not pretty, but people are just stupid that way. We live in the generation of morons and that generation will bring world chaos and rebellion. Anyway, everyone thinks differently, if you want to believe in a god, regardless of the religion and have kids, never teach them of it. I don't know a single person in the world that asked to be forced into a belief system known for abusing females and murderous worshipers....

oh my god...i can actually relate to that... it was hard for me to imagine there were other people also who dealt with this, and i bet its hard to think i also had to deal with having a crappy hell like childhood. and i faced it all alone. im kind of quiet and im a deep thinker. i think i have an overactive brain. when im with my friends,or people i know, i laugh with them but inside i know how life can be. Sometimes i feel like i have dealt with things others have not. and yes i dont care much for religion but i do believe god. i am not scared of death, it just doesnt scare me. i am kind to others, exept sassy or horrible ones that really need to learn. i will be nice to them because who knows if they are dealing with the horrible crap some of us had to endure. i just life life the same every day, not really thinking about it and trying to be a normal child that is not so serious sometimes. i dont think i fully understand myself yet, but someday, sometime i will.

Oh, I don't mind. I'm a book worm who loves poetry because of the complex thinking required to get in depth with it's meaning. As I've said, life has no meaning, this is because of our diverse nature. We all seem to turn to religion for reasons to live, but this just means that we turn to things we know we do not know. We also turn to religion to moralize war, as all religions have done or will do is violence in the terms of murder. It's not really the fault of the people, but the parents who didn't think of the consequences when teaching them a religion. This is also considered a type of brainwashing by the way. Anyway, I know people close themselves, I did it when I was 13. A real troll. I'm glad kids rapidly mature, I didn't like behaving like that. LOL, I still remember being confused with a 16 year old because on how smart I was . Nobody really does know what they're looking for because there isn't anything to find. It's like looking in an empty black room. They'll most likely come to the conclusion of finding something, when in reality they found nothing. Even in the 10 minutes the brains survives when all the other organs die (known as near-death expirence) is when people envision (or halucinate) whatever they feel was most valuable. Hence why you never hear an atheist say they say Buddah or God or any other religious thing.