I’ve never really thought about how I would die. I use to think everyone dies the same way. They wake up in the morning thinking their day will go perfectly normally and while their walking across the street a car runs over them. But as I grew older I realized that people die in many different ways – car accidents, gun shots, heart attaches. At that same moment I realized that someday I’m going to die - maybe because of a gunshot or a car accident. And as soon as I had that thought I realized that I’ll never truly know when I’m going to die until I die. I’ll live my whole life wondering how I’m going to die, when I’m going to die And I realized that worrying over this was (and still is) a waste of my own time. Everyone’s going to die eventually. Who am I to worry about how I’m going to die. When I die I’ll know just how I died and my questions in life will finally be answered. I’ll be in heaven with God – watching the people who are still alive and are enjoying life while they can. I’ll laugh at the funny things and cry for the sad things. And if my parents or relatives are still alive I’ll watch over them with God. Praying for them and hoping for the best. Hopefully, God is smiling down at me as I write this. Taking in everything I write and enjoying it. And hopefully whoever is reading this is enjoying what I’m writing. Hopefully you’ll take into consideration how you die and how you live – because I know I have. After writing what I just wrote I’ve thought about my life and how I live. I want to go to heaven, even though sometimes I don’t act like I do. No one ever really thinks they’re going to hell. Everyone wants to go to heaven. Everyone wants to spend a lifetime with God. I’ve tried to unravel the ribbons of the Earth and never truly succeeded. Life is just too complicated for mere mortals like us to completely understand. And really was it ever made for us to understand? God wants us to love and live while we have the chance. He doesn’t want us to spend our whole life worrying about the way the world works. We were put onto this Earth with average humans minds and a special talent. Some people still haven’t found their talent yet. You could be 20 or 50 and you don’t know your talent. God has a certain time for us to discover our own talent. But never in your life should you doubt your talent. Even if things don’t seem to be working out for you, your talent lives inside you waiting to burst out at the right time - whether it’s 3 o’clock or 10 o’ clock. Everyone has their own dreams. Sometime in your life you probably wanted to be a prince or a princess. I know I did. I use to dress myself up in bed sheets and pretend they were fancy evening gowns and I was getting ready to go to a ball to dance with my prince charming. I dreamed about one day meeting the perfect guy - the one who would sweep me of my feet and carry me the whole way home. The one who would say the perfect things to me - just when I wanted him too, the one who loves me even when I look like crap, even when I yell at him and he yells at me. We still love each other more than the other person knows. Sometimes I wish I could disappear and head to a secret place where everything is just the way I like it, where everything is perfect in my point of view. But I know that place doesn’t exist. No matter how much I try to find it. No matter how far I search. Everywhere is basically the same. Everywhere is everywhere, and everywhere is a guitar in the middle of nowhere and where all the strings. All the trillions of people in the world make up little pieces of the strings. Sometimes we come together to sound wonderful and sometimes we need tuning. We have our bad days and our good. We feel like crap and we feel like the best thing you could possibly feel like. For me it’s a rocket shooting off into to sky at night. But for you it might be something amazing. Like some new technology people are thinking up at this very moment. But even though technology can be awesome it still has its imperfections. But imperfections are something that makes each and every one of us unique in so many ways. Because of imperfections I can tell one person from the next. Without imperfections we would all be like plain, boring brown sprinkles. And really, who wants to eat brown sprinkles. Everyone wants the bright, rainbow colored sprinkles. Because of our imperfections we do things we think is right. But really, what is right in this crazy world we call life. Nothing is truly right unless God says it is. So really we could do whatever we want. Jump off a cliff, play guitar like nothing else matters, sleep upside down, run around your neighborhood, kiss a boy (or girl) you don’t even know, make snow angels, eat at Wendy’s for the rest of your life, or learn to fly a airplane. But some of the things you want to do, you can’t do because if you do you could possibly get arrested (or worse). And no one really wants to get arrested. You don’t wake up one day and suddenly say, “I want to get arrested”. No one really says or thinks they just do. Do something they may have thought was right at the time. But as I said before, no human really knows what’s right or not right. That’s for God to decide. So really people such as judges don’t know what they’re talking about. Two judges could have totally different opinions. But yet some people still go to jail or get killed. But really it’s not right to take away the life of someone else, even if they did do something horribly wrong in your mind. And really movies that talk about life are really pointless because as I said, no human knows what life is really about. And really books talking about life are pointless too. Even things we live and sleep in everyday such as houses are pointless. We really only need clothes to keep our bodies covered and food to keep us alive. Everything else we have such as cell phones or TV is just for our entertainment. We really don’t need those things we just want them and think we need them. And really people shouldn’t judge other people by how they talk or look. What really matters is what’s inside. How that person thinks and how that person loves. Anything else, like if the person dresses “cool” or not is just a stupid opinion. And I admit, sometimes I judge other people and I know that people judge me but really who cares about anyone else’s thoughts. Who cares if someone doesn’t like you? You shouldn’t change yourself just for someone else. You shouldn’t change who you really are inside unless you think who you are isn’t what you want to be. Just because someone says they love you doesn’t mean they really do. Just because someone says they hate you doesn’t mean they really do. So really what we say to each other may not mean anything. And even though we say we take back what we said, we can never truly take back what we said. You can never truly forget what you said. Once you say it, it’s there for the whole world to remember. And even if you forget what you said for a little while it will always come back to you someday.  No matter how hard you try to forget you can’t erase it out of your mind completely. Life is pointless. It’s too complex to have a point. So don’t even try to figure out life. Real life doesn’t exist. We are all just nothing. Nothing is what we are. And even when we think were something we’re nothing. Except for there is something, somewhere. Something so fucking huge, so epic that no one ever thinks to think about it. No one gets it, because really no one’s supposed to. And even if you try to think about it you can’t even begin to imagine the possibilities of what that something could be.

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