to run in the woods its my favorite thing to do

vampires i hate them

I've lived on the reservation in La Push my whole life with the rest of the Quileute tribe. It's pretty small here, and everyone knows everything about everyone. All through high school I dated Sam Uley, and we were perfect together; not only did we think so, but the entire town did as well. We were completely in love and he told me we were going to get married after we graduated. At least that's what he said until he met Emily, my cousin, and imprinted on her. Imprinting is when our kind meets their 'soulmate' and realizes that they are meant to be together forever. Apparently, Sam and I weren't meant to be. I just wish that I could imprint as well, so I can finally put all the pain from the break-up behind me.

Ever since that day when I found out that Emily was Sam's supposed 'one and only true love,' I haven't been the same. Every time I look at Sam, that familiar pang of pain passes through my body as I think of what might have been; what should have been if the imprinting didn't occur. Now those dreams have been shattered, and I'm still still trying to forget about them. But I still have feelings for Sam, and am irritated by what happened, to say the least. It doesn't help that every time I look at him, an extremely guilty look passes across his face, a look of apology because he knew he was in the wrong.


I try to constantly remind myself that it wasn't my fault, that something more powerful then we know came between us, but that's a little bit hard for me to accept. I try to hide my contempt for Emily, knowing in the back of my mind that it really isn't my cousins fault. But it's no secret that I'm no saint, and I just can't repress the natural emotions I feel about the situation. I'm trying to handle it gracefully, by being a bridesmaid in their wedding.


He was never mine to lose, why regret what cannot be? These are words he'll never say. Not to me, he will never feel this way.

When the guys in La Push originally began turning into wolves, everyone who didn’t know what was going on assumed they were in some sort of bizarre gang. Sure, I had heard about all the ancient legends, but scoffed at them, positive that things such as werewolves and vampires couldn’t actually live in the real world. They were just old stories that the elders enjoyed telling around the campfires; stories that were used to teach younger children about basic morals and the history of the tribe.

At least that’s what I believed until I went through the change myself. Imagine my surprise when I found out that not only the guys can make the change into wolves, but the girls can as well. At first I thought I came down with some weird sickness, with my body heating up to temperatures that should have killed me. At the news of the beginning of the transformation, who else other then Sam Uley explained what was going on. What a fantastic way to learn about what was happening to me. Yea, right. It was completely unexpected that a girl could change, and shocked everyone in the pack. The legends all mention the men of the tribe changing, but never says anything about the girls. Looks like I proved those stories wrong.

Unlike the other guys, I love what I could do; the feeling of running free in the forest – the feeling of power. Now that I’m one of them, I’m a new member to the La Push gang. But there’s a catch. We share our thoughts with everyone in the pack when changed, and that's when a lot of stuff goes down. Drama, so you say. And I don't mean high school drama - think more along the lines of a daytime soap opera. Sometimes we don't like what we see, actually, most of the time we wish we could be out of each others minds. Especially when I'm forced to see images that repulse me, such as Sam and Emily together, and Jake making out with that little leech-lover, Bella Swan. But I have my own little fun with the links between our minds, putting images in their heads that they definitely don't like seeing either. But even through all this drama, I still find myself spending more and more time with the pack, since they are really the ones ones who truly understand what’s going on in our lives.


Really, kid. You have no idea how hard this is for me.
Seasons may change, winter to spring, but I'll love you until the end of time.


We all knew that it wouldn't be long before Edward bit Bella and broke the treaty. When that happened, it would be full-out war, something that the entire pack was prepared for. Jacob wanted it more than any of us, and I had absolutely no qualms against fighting the bloodsuckers. But when Bella and Edward returned from their honeymoon, we weren't expecting what was coming next. Turned out that Bella was pregnant with the leech's baby. And here I thought that it was impossible for the living corpses to reproduce. The moment that Sam heard the news, he immediately ordered an attack. I didn't care either way, but apparently Jake had other ideas. In an act of desperation for the attack to not go through, he reclaimed his power as Alpha and broke off to form his own pack.

I didn't originally plan on joining Jake's pack. But once Seth made the decision to join (he does love the leeches so much), it only made sense for me to follow. It was my one escape from Sam's mind, and I couldn't resist such a temptation. I hated having to take orders from him, and the idea of complete freedom was one I had to take. Jake was shocked at first, but he eventually got over it and dealt with the fact that I was going to stick by our new small pack, even if it meant doing the unthinkable and helping the bloodsuckers. Surprisingly, Jake and I became somewhat of friends, if you'd like to call it that. Or at least we learned how to tolerate each other. I made the decision that when he left town, I would go with him. Seth, of course, would stay to continue school, but Jake and I had nothing to lose. He was pretty close to agreeing, until the unexpected happened.


Jake imprinted on Bella's little half-vampire/half-human spawn. Crazy, I know. Who would've thought that a wolf and vampire could ever be together? As insane as this all was, it changed everything for us. It's against our law to hurt the imprintee of another wolf, so that put destroying the child - Renesmee - out of the question. On top of that, Jake gave his word as Ephraim Black's descendant that no war would occur over Bella getting bitten, since she made an informed choice. All this left was for us to all work together for the larger battle approaching - the Volturi. They ventured to Forks in anticipation to destroy the Cullen family, but were challenged by other vampire covens and all of the La Push wolves. Much to our surprise, we learned some fascinating information from them. Our kind are not werewolves, or Children of the Moon, but shape-shifters. It was only a coincidence that our shape happened to be that of a wolf.

The confrontation continued without a battle, and much to everyone's surprise, the Volturi and their witnesses eventually retreated, leaving our small town of leeches and wolves in tact. Now I face an even greater problem. I am no longer part of Sam's pact, and have no desire to return. The freedom I earned when I joined up with Jacob is something I would never give up. Jake is clearly going to follow Nessie wherever her path may lead, and I won't allow Seth to do anything but finish high school. So where does this leave me? A freak wolf girl, most likely unable to function properly since my monthly course no longer occurs. Perhaps this is why I'm the only female to make the transformation - because there's something wrong about me? I suppose I'll never know the real answer, but now I'm ready to begin a life of my own, wherever that should lead me.