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Another thing I got from my friends

 FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
 REAL FRIENDS: is the reason you have no food.
 

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr / Mrs
 REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

 FAKE FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what
 you did was wrong
 REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you saying 'Dawg ...
 we screwed up... but
 that was fun!'
 

FAKE FRIENDS: never seen you cry
 REAL FRIENDS: cry with you

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then
 give it back
 REAL FRIENDS: keep your stuff so long they forget
 it's yours

 FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you
 REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with
 direct quotes from you

 FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what
 the crowd is doing
 REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that
left you

 FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say 'I'M HOME!'
 

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile
 REAL FRIENDS: Are for life

FAKE FRIENDS: will talk bad to the person who talks
 bad about you.
 REAL FRIENDS: Will knock the person out that talked
bad about you

 If you were killed today, I'm sorry I wouldn't be
 able to come to your
funeral, because I'd be in jail for killing the
 person who did it.

Ok so this is just some fun thing my friends emailed me. Lets see what you end up with...

Pick the month you were born:

January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

 Pick the day (number) you were born on:
 1-------a birdbath
 2-------a monster
 3-------a phone
 4-------a fork
 5-------a snowman
 6-------a gangster
 7-------my mobile phone
 8-------my dog
 9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbour
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod surfer
30 -------a llama
31-------A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself !

 

 hahaha feel free to type what you got in the comments or share with a friend, (but beware they might think your weird if you go up to them saying Big Bird is your leader...)

Tags: Really Random Stuff

I am one of the 55.  Are You?
 
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghi t pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Tags: Can You Read This

I Stood Up! How 'Bout You? This is a true story of something that happened just a few years ago at UCLA .  There was a professor of philosophy there who was a deeply committed atheist.   His primary goal for one required class was to spend theentire semester to prove that God couldn't exist.  His students were always afraid to argue with him because of
his impeccable logic.  Sure, some had argued in class at times, but no one had everreally gone against him because of his reputation.  At the end of every semester on the last day, he would say
to his class of 300 students, "If there is anyone here whostill believes in Jesus, stand up!"   In twenty years, no one had ever stood up. They knew what hewas going to do next. He would say, "Because anyone who
believes in God is a fool".  If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk fromhitting the ground and breaking. Such a simple task to provethat He is God, and yet He can't do it."
  And every year, he would drop the chalk onto the tile floorof the classroom and it would shatter into a hundred pieces.  All of the students would do nothing but stop and stare. 
Most of the students thought that God couldn't exist.Certainly, a number of Christians had slipped through, but!for 20 years, they had been too afraid to stand up.   Well, a few years ago there was a freshman who happened to
enroll.  He was a Christian, and had heard the stories about hisprofessor.  He was required to take the class for his major, and he wasafraid. But for three months that semester, he prayed every
morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matterwhat the professor said, or what the class thought.   Nothing they said could ever shatter his faith...he hoped.  Finally, the day came. ! The professor said, "If there is
anyone here who still believes in God, stand up!" Theprofessor and the class of 300 people looked at him, shocked, as he stood up at the back of the classroom.   The professor shouted, "You FOOL!!!
  If God existed, he would keep this piece of chalk frombreaking when it hit the ground!"  He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as he did, it slippedout of his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleat of
his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it hit theground, it simply rolled away unbroken. The professor's jawdropped as he stared at the chalk. He looked up at the youngman, and then ran out of the lecture hall.
  The young man who had stood, proceeded to walk to the frontof the room and shared his faith in Jesus for the next halfhour. 300 students stayed and listened as he told of God'slove for them and of His power through Jesus.
  You have 2 choices:  1. Delete this and never look at it again.  2. Pass this along to your Christian and non-Christianfriends, giving them encouragement we all need every day.
  When you choose option 2, you have chosen to STAND UP.  In light of the many jokes we send to one another for alaugh, this is a little different:  This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's
intended to get you thinking..............   Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God andthen wonder why the world's going to hell.  Isn't it funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but
question what the Bible says.   Isn't it funny how everyone wants to go to heaven providedthey do not have to believe, think, say , or do anything theBible says. Or is it scary?  Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but
still follow Satan   (who, by the way, also "believes" in God ).  Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand jokes throughe-mail and they spread like wildfire,  but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord,
people think twice about sharing.   Isn't it funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene passfreely through cyberspace, but the public discussion ofJesus is suppressed in the school and workplace.
  Isn't it funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible  Christian the rest of the week.  Are you laughing? ! Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what
  other people think of me than what God thinks of me. 

Tags: I Stood Up How About You

Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school,
 He told his friends that it was cool,
 And when he pulled the trigger back,
 It shot with a great crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
 But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
 I never said good-bye,
 I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another,
 And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,
 And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best;
 Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.

 Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
 And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others, Mommy I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know they really did try,
 I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.

 Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest,
 But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.

Mommy I ran as fast as I could,
 When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would,
 I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new,
 I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo.

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.

 But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
 Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true,
 And Mommy all I say is, 'Mommy, I love you.

****In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost****

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say 'Good-bye'

Tags: In Memory

Lessons in Logic

Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
So why practice?

If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It's your stupidity.
 

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.
 

"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station....
What more can I say........

Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

Did I read those signs right?!?!

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:

PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND
UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN ?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD
FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL
TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.
PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn

to spread the stupidity and tell this to someone

you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle).

We all need a good laugh.

My name is chris,I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I cant do a wrong

I cant speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks arent home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My da ddy is back

From Chariles bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

Im so afraid now

I'm starting to cr y

He finds me weepin g

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

Hes already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"Im sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help
And if you read this

and dont pass it on

I pray for your forgivness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because u r effected,

Do something about it!

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