started this a while back, and just wanted to know what u guys thought. and i know some of the names are REALLLLLYYYY chesey, mostly Darth Viper. anyway, comment please.
In the new democratic standpoint of the republic, in the inner system, it seemed that the only problem was the minor uprisings of planets still under the influence of the empire, and the remnants of the crippled imperial fleet. But in the out skirts of the star wars galaxy, a small system of planets lies, untouched by Courasant or any of the outer rim planets. This system was named Sentosia, inhabited by a diverse population of creatures seeming to be half human, half animal. At one point a small Sith fleet had hidden some of its knowledge on the planet, and taught a secluded mountain temple the ways of the Sith. As the planet finally make contact with the inner rim, the small group of Sith, knowing that the Jedi council was the sworn enemy of the very thing they stood for, began to prepare for their assault on the galaxy’s greatest piece of hope. A young boy by the name of Will, who has a somewhat personal grudge with the council after they abandoned the planet to a pirate invasion and losing his parents, swore to destroy republic and everything it stood for. He is the hero, or rather the villain of the story. Kinda depends on your point of view…
&nb sp; The Sentosian sun rose in the early morning. Will looked to the top of the stairs, where the ancient Sith temple sat, in the shadow of Mt. Auro. It seemed so fitting that the place of training of the dark arts of the Sith should usually be cast in shadow. Music chimed in Will’s ear, as it usually did. Of course he packed light, being poor, and having almost nothing after the pirate raid. Suddenly an explosion shook the ground. “Geeze, looks like these people know how to party…” Will flinched as he saw rubble shoot into the air. `Looks like a cat fight on steroids’ Will thought to himself. He sighed, turned up his music, and headed up the stairs.
&nb sp; Darth Viper sat in her throne deep within Mt. Auro. She was deep in her meditation, pondering the outcome of her pupils. Seven of them were ready to become Sith masters, and another 10 young ones waiting for a master. The Jedi were so foolish, not allowing anyone over the age of 13 to join their cause. The young ones were so easy to corrupt, filled with hopes and passions the Jedi tried to take away. The ground shook again, and small pieces of the cave ceiling fell. `It seems that Val and Cora were in another fight.’ Most would say it’s unhealthy to let the apprentices fight, but the fighting was the way to divide the weak from the strong. Suddenly an unfamiliar presence appeared at the edge of Darth Viper’s radius. Her eyes opened, for this presence was powerful. `Val! Quit fooling around with Cora and go to front gate, we have a most curious quest.
&nb sp; Will approached the front gate, a tall wall of stone on hinges, allowing it to swing out, but not in. he stared at it, wondering how he was going to get in, when a voice rang out in the early morning. “You! State your business, the place is sacred to the Sith, no riffraff allowed.” Will looked up to see a figure standing atop the gate. The sun was to the persons back, casting her features in shadow. “I’ve come to seek a Master to teach me the ways of the Sith.” Will called to the figure. It laughed at his answer, before saying “Alright boy, I’ll humor you. I will get my master. Just wait her for your answer of denial.”
&nb sp; Val returned to her Master, like she had told the boy at the gate. Darth Viper looked up when she entered. “Well, who was it at the gate?” she asked Val. “Common riffraff my Master. A simple boy, asking for an apprenticeship.” Val explained. Her master smiled, her tongue flickered out of her mouth in anticipation. “Val, let’s give this boy a chance. Tell Delin to meet me at the front gate.” Val was taken aback by her Master’s response. “Master, but this boy is but a common peasant! He could never become a Sith!” she exclaimed. Darth Vipers tail flicked in annoyance, “Val, don’t forget your place. You were no more than he was when you came here. Don’t forget that.” Val crouched on her knee in respect. “Forgive me Master. I will go tell Delin, as you requested.” She said. “Your level of formality is unneeded, but go.” Darth viper stood, and began to walk towards the tunnel leading to the front gate, the presence growing steadily stronger.
&nb sp; Will sat at the base of the wall, his back to the cold hard stone, listening to his music, as usual. Even though distracted by the music, he was perfectly in sync with the rest of his environment. So when he saw the crouching shadow on the wall, he immediately rolled sideways, narrowly avoiding a set of claws aiming for his neck. Before him stood a dark panther of a girl, crouched upon the ground, leering at him. She wore a hood that covered the top-most part of her face in shadow, except for her yellow, piercing eyes. She wore a strange set of clothing, a ceremonial Sith robe bottom, and a vest buttoned only at the middle and the one above it. Her muscles tightened as she prepared to pounce again. Will automatically slid into a fighting stance, and prepared for the fight of his life.
and by the way, thats not even the first chapter.
i started this way back when metroid prime: corruption cvcame out. hope you like it, sns leave a comment
“Come on gents, the stations coming down around our ears!” yelled the captain. I turned and fired my blaster. One pirate fell, a hole in its chest. Chunks of ceiling rained down around us. I ran aboard our ship, and the captain closed the hatch behind me. Thank god we made it. I moved to the front of the group, looking forward to seeing an old friend. I hadn’t seen her since she saved the base on Noiron. The doors opened, and I gasped. The walls were scared with laser fire. Dead troopers laid around the room, there visors flickering pitifully. I had seen this kind of destruction before. I ran towards the generator room. Faster, faster, faster! My feet were a bur, they, hardly touched the ground. I stepped inside the room, and my blood ran cold. “Samus!” I yelled. She hung in mid air; her power suit lay in pieces on the floor. A dark figure, almost identical to Samus, floated beside her. If my blood could freeze, I’m sure it would. It was dark Samus. She raised a finger and stroked Samus’s chin. “Well, is this a friend of yours? I guess I'll just have to kill him.”
&nb sp; I heard screams behind me. Dark Samus smiled, “Go ahead my pets,” she said in a cool voice, “enjoy them.” I raised my blaster and dropped onto one knee, ready to take the shot. She was too fast. The gun was blown out of my hand by a pure bolt of phazon. Dark Samus slowly lowered to the ground and started walking towards me, waving a finger at me. “No no no, you could hurt someone with that,” she said, like she was scolding a child, “And it won’t be me.” She stopped, three feet in front of me. She grinned at me, “I’ll give you a ten second head start.” She started counting, and I wasn’t going to waste it. I took off running, taking the time to grab my gun off the floor. If I could make it to the escape pods, I could try and get back up. I turned the corner and stopped dead in my tracks. At the end of the hallway was the scariest beast (besides Dark Samus, and yes, I would classify that succubus as a beast) I had seen in my life. Talon like claws, razor teeth, covered in blue phazon, a dead trooper hanging in its jaws. I heard footsteps behind me. Death by beast, or by a she-demon? I chose to take my chances with the beast.
&nb sp; I took off at a full sprint at the thing. I don’t know how it happened, but as I ran, I saw that it had blast marks pock marking its back. It was armored with solid phazon. I did the one thing I learned when a beast had armor on its back. I went under it. I dropped into a slide and went straight between its front legs, raised my blaster, and unloaded a magazine. I slid out from under it, the beast groaned in pain, and fell to the floor, dead. I heard a tsking, scolding noise. “You killed my pet.” The voice came from behind me; I didn’t stop to see how close she was. I took off around the corner and headed for the escape pod bay. I didn’t run into any more monsters, but it was a big ship, there would be more.
&nb sp; I arrived at the pod bay door, blaster ready. She knew where I was, and probably had one of her pets waiting for me. The door slid open, and oh, she had something waiting for me. All the escape pods had been launched. I fell to my knees in defeat. I heard a slight trill of a laugh behind me. “Did you really think I would give you the chance to escape?” then I realized that she meant two things. She wasn’t going to let me get off the ship, or from the room. The bay only had one door, and a murder was guarding it. “You can give up now, and I’ll make it painless.” I flinched. I knew she was lying. What did she have to lose from killing me? No, she was going to kill me, take her time, make it last.
&nb sp; “The last time I saw Samus, she gave me some advice that has never failed me before.” I said through clenched teeth. She laughed again.
“And what did she tell you? Never look a space pirate in the eye?” she asked in a mocking tone. I rose shakily to my feet. My legs were jelly, shaking with fear, they wouldn’t stand still. I knew I wasn’t going to live through this.
&nb sp; “She told me never to give in, no matter the circumstances.” I turned around and faced my killer. “And I’ve fallowed that rule since. The way I see it, if I’m still alive, that means the advice is true to the heart.” I spread my legs, and drew my knife and pistol. If I was going to die either way, then I might as well go down with a fight. She laughed again, like the whole thing was a joke to her, no, not a joke, a game.
&nb sp; “I’m debating whether I should just kill you, or let my pets have you.” She said. I grinned, but I knew it wasn’t very confident looking. “You’ve seen what I can do to your pets. I know their weakness.” She stared back at me with blood red eyes, laughing at me. “You thought that was tough?” she laughed, “That one was the runt of the litter.” I couldn’t believe her, hope was the last thing I had. If I gave that up, I gave up everything. She laughed again, “Your either extremely brave, or extremely stupid.” I said nothing to that. I made myself stand still. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing my fear.
&nb sp; “I’ve reached my decision,” she said matter-of-factly, still smiling, “I’ll kill you myself.” I lunged at her. If she had the first strike, I would never get the chance. My knife slashed through the air, and nothing else. She was gone. I felt her breath on the back of my neck, “too slow kid.” She said. Pain ripped through my body and sent me stumbling forwards. I turned around and was blasted again. Every time I tried to right myself, I was hit again. Eventually I was knocked against the wall, and still couldn’t fall to the floor. The sheer force of the blasts were nailing me to the wall. Eventually she let me fall to the floor in a crumpled floor. I gazed down, my vision blurry. My armor had been melted away, my bare skin burned. Dark Samus kneeled in front of me, “Any last words before I finish you?” she asked in a mocking tone. I smiled slightly, chuckling to myself.
&nb sp; “Ya, ever heard of a ballistic knife?” I asked as I released the trigger. The knife blade flew straight into her forehead, going in about an inch. She fell back and didn’t move. Had I really killed the most dangerous creature in the galaxy with a simple knife? My question was answered with a small chuckled, that built up into booming laughter. She roses slowly, still laughing. “I can’t believe I was stupid enough to do something like that!” she stopped laughing and looked down at me with cold, hard eyes. “But of course I have to kill you now.” She said in a serious voice. I was dying anyway. Everything was fading, colors were blurring, except for her face. The last thing I saw were those cool eyes and mocking grin.
&nb sp; I groaned when I opened my eyes to find myself still alive. The life support in my suit was failing, trying in vain to keep me alive and produce enough air to keep me breathing. The suit wasn’t doing anything. All the air it produced escaped through the ragged hole in my chest.
&nb sp; I picked myself off the ground and limped towards where I thought there was an armory, or better, a recharge room. If I could heal myself, I could fight to the hangar and see if there were any ships left. I stumbled and braced myself against the wall. My hand went into something wet, and when I looked over, I saw blood smeared against the wall. It ran down the wall, but I didn’t dare look down. She had massacred all of my friends, my comrades. She would pay.
I made the half ship trek to the recharge room, where inside I watched in wonder as my suit pulled itself back together. I felt like none of the wounds had ever happened. I ran to the armory, conveniently right down the hall, and went inside. I looked at my choices plastering the wall. I grabbed a few older guns for her and her pets. I looked forward to seeing her riddled with anti-Phazon rounds, and her little beasts sliced into pieces.
&nb sp; I ran onto the elevator to the hangar. I needed to make sure there was a way out before I confronted my enemy. When I walked in, I saw that all the ships were laid out, they hadn’t been touched. That was it then. I walked back into the elevator and headed to the bridge. This was it, life, or death.
&nb sp; I entered the hallway leading to the bridge quietly. When I turned the corner, I saw three of those blasted beasts, all larger than the one I had already fought. I pulled out one of my weapons, waiting for the right time to strike. When they were all looking the other way, I sprang. I ended all of them with one round each. She would have heard, would have felt, would have known I was coming now, so I didn’t waste my time on stealth. I walked into the main bridge, littered with dead crew and the walls covered with blast marks. She sat there, where the main computer would be, smiling back at me. I glared back at her.
&nb sp; “You just won’t die, will you?” she asked, he smile growing. I realized that she was more like an evil teenage girl than an intergalactic criminal. “You’re like a cockroach, I can step on you, but you’ll just wait till I’m gone, get back up, and cause more trouble.” I stared at her for a second.
&nb sp; “I don’t know how to respond to that.” I said plainly. She laughed. Those sweet, trilling laughs, they made me grind my teeth. When she was done, she sighed to herself softly.
&nb sp; “It’s such a shame,” she said to herself.
&nb sp; “What?” I asked, thinking she would just insult me again.
&nb sp; “Well…” she said, letting the sentence drift off awkwardly, “you’re funny, and it’s really is a shame that I have to kill you.” She said. Did I detect some sincerity in that tone, a blush in her cheeks? Did this ungodly creature really have a heart, feelings of compassion? I shut out those thoughts.
&nb sp; “I’m sure you’ll lose tons of sleep over it.” I said cruelly. I actually felt kinda bad for saying it. She glared at me.
&nb sp; “Way to kill the moment you little brat.” She spat back. “Look, I’ll give you one more chance. Give up now, and I won’t kill you.” she said, not changing her resenting tone. I laughed.
&nb sp; “Then what will you do? Turn me into one of your mindless slaves? A zombie with no free will?” I challenged, reaching for one of my guns.
&nb sp; “For the more… deserving, of my captives, there’s always a spot next to me.” She said, becoming awkward again,
&nb sp; I rolled my eyes. “If all my pieces are still attached to my body after this, I’ll think about it.”
I wiped out my gun and took a shot from the hip. The metal javelin embedded itself in her stomach. She doubled over in pain, then raised her head, “You… little… punk….” She said between gasps.
&nb sp; I smiled back at her, “Oh, it gets better,” I said as I flipped a switch on the gun. She started jerking in pain as blue arcs of electricity sparked off the metal pole. When the current let up, she looked up again.
&nb sp; “What the hell was that?” she asked quietly. She sounded like she was in shock and in pain, clinching her side as she spoke. I smiled even bigger.
&nb sp; “Oops, did I hit a lung? Maybe broke a few ribs?” she cursed me, “The Javelin gun was designed as a suppressive fire weapon, or as a bunker buster. When the GFS realized its offensive weapon power, it became a weapon for Special Forces. It’s just a big lightning rod.” I fired again, the bolt catching her in the hand, pinning her to the wall. She screeched in pain, I didn’t even flinch. I kept firing, until both her arms and one leg were pinned to the wall. She kept screaming and cursing at me. But I couldn’t care about her. She was the enemy, and they had told me in training that when you started showing the enemy compassion, they turned around and stabbed me in the back. I knew that she wouldn’t hesitate to gut me if she got the chance.
&nb sp; After a while, she stopped moving. She went silent, and I waited for her to move, to say something. I didn’t expect what would happen next. A dry rasping noise came from the back of her throat. I saw something gleam on her cheek, and then it hit me. She, dark Samus, the girl that came from hell itself, was pinned to the wall, sobbing in fear and pain.
&nb sp; “Please,” she croaked “just stop.” She begged. “I was so close, I had finally had the galaxy in my hand,” she ranted. She was in hysterics. “I thwarted death three times, Tallon five, Ether, and Phazze. I can’t die now, not now, not when I almost had her.” She went quiet and kept sobbing for a while. I felt pity for her.
&nb sp; “Want some help?” the voice came from behind me. I spun with my hand on the trigger, only to have the gun blown out of my hand. When I saw who a done it, I gasped. Samus stood in the doorway, but it wasn’t the Samus I expected to see. Her helmet was off, and her long blonde hair was flowing down her shoulders. Her power suit was pitch black, with red Phazon that glowed slightly. I heard a chuckle from behind me. I cursed. Prime had played me, made me think I had won. I reached for another gun, but didn’t get the chance to draw. I was knocked back with the force of the blast. I hit the wall, the air knocked out of me with the force of impact. I slid down the wall and looked down at my chest. A hole even worse than the one Prime had put on me stared back. At least when Prime had shot me, the blast had cauterized the wound. This one was ragged and bloody. Samus had blasted me in the chest with a missile. I felt hot tears flowing down my cheeks. And here I thought I was going to live. I glanced up and saw Samus pulling the stakes from Primes body. Samus hoisted her to her feet, Prime leaning on her arm. Prime limped over and stood over me. I wouldn’t raise my eyes, I wouldn’t let the last think I would see before I died be those leering red eyes.
&nb sp; “Are you afraid?” a finger lifted my head into the gaze of those red eyes. I didn’t answer, just stared back, mesmerized by those eyes. They just kept going, never ending. They made the pain fade a little. A sudden white hot stab of anger hit in my arm. I glanced over, where a beam of Phazon was stabbing into my arm.
&nb sp; “Leave him alone sis, he’s already dead,” Samus spoke up, “He can hardly feel it anymore.” The beam slowly disappeared. “Aw,” she said, glancing over at Samus, “you’re no fun at all sis.”
&nb sp; “Is… is that all this is to you?” they both looked back at me.
&nb sp; “What are you talking about?”It was Samus that spoke this time.
&nb sp; “Is this just a joke to you?” I never looked up, staring at the big hole in my chest. “This whole ship, all of its crew, and so man y others to come have to die for your pleasure?” they didn’t answer, they just left me there. On a ship of the dead, the last surviving member of this crew, soon to be dead myself, all alone. I now realized now that I was afraid, afraid of being alone, of death. I rose shakily to my feet and walked towards a control panel.
&nb sp; “I won’t let you get off that easy… I’m not going to hell alone.” I said. “A sudden plunge in the sullen swell,” I started, reciting my favorite poem line, “Ten fathoms deep…,” I raised my finger, “on the road to hell.” I said, and hit the self destruct button. I stumbled to the elevator, and headed for the hanger. I finally reached a ship, and got into T.T. number 4242564. The engines shuddered, and I hit the throttle, and pulled out of the hangar as the ship of the dead blew to pieces.
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