that should be me

well heres the story when i was 5 my mom had llukemiea and she went to the hospital and a few weeks we visied her and she was not feeling any better and she had a very lw heart rate and then after 4 mins we were talking to her her heart rate stoped and iasked my dad whats wrong with her and he said come here and i asked is she sleeping he said that she was and i heard a very very loud beep and i was scared cuz i didnt know what it was and i started to cry and scream and we went in the other room and then the nurse came to us and said that shes dead and i screamd and cryed for a hour and my dad tryed to pick me up aand leave but i ran and went in the room and standed right next to my mom and cryed and i said i want to be with her and i never left her side for about 20 mins and i told my mom to wake up and i repeated it over and then bout the 30 time i repeated it i stoped and i cryed more and then i looked at my mom just laying there eyes closed not moving not breathing and i said wake up one more time and she never did and i turned around and told my dad that i miss her and i walked to my dad and walked to his car and he put me in my seat he got in we got home and i ran crying to my room and i threw my lil teddy bear down and went in my bed and grabed a picture of me my dad and my mom and looked at my mom and i stoped crying for 5 mins and i went down to my dad and i asked him if she was dead he said yes and i asked were is she at and he said well sweety theres a beautiful place were people go when they die and that place is called heaven and he said shes in heaven and i asked why did she die now he said well i dont know and when i turned 7 my dad killed his self and i did not know what to do and now i have a step dad and i ran away cuz i was not loved with my step parents and i stayed with my sis and she lived with her friend and thats my story and that should of ben me that died not my mom i miss you sooooooo much mom