I am such a loser. I hardly have any close friends at school..maybe 4 close ones that I usually talk to.
Even they have a way of getting on my nerves, And I don't even know why! I hate getting easily irritable..Cause it just puts a giant wall between me and the people around me. I block them out.
See, and the thing is..Since i'm alone most of my time, whenever I am in a situation involving a big crowd/Socializing I have no idea what to do. Because of all the mass confusion on what to say, or do..I'm extremely bitter/bitchy towards everyone. To prevent myself from saying the wrong thing, I often don't talk. I keep to myself.
Then come the questions, "Whats wrong?", or "Are you okay?". All I wanna do when people ask me this is punch them in the face. It pisses me off so much. Don't you f*****g see I don't wanna talk to you.
Gee, I am such an outcast. My fault though. Wish I could be more social.
Then, when I get home..all I do is spend time on the computer..Chatting with random strangers and just watching videos on Youtube.
My Grandma always tells me to get outside, or go to some friends house or something. I make up some sort of excuse like, "I already asked, they said they're busy." She just stares at me. *Sigh*
I feel more comfortable with no people around. Why the hell can't she see that?
My family often calls me a loner. Eh.
See, on the flashchat here, I am often nice and friendly towards everyone. I'm faking it.
I mean, Everyone on there are nice and all, but theres been times where they piss me off. I just wanna curse their as* out.
I don't though, They'll probably cry or something, or do all CAPS like they always do and "Yell" at me.
Pshh, b*** grow up. This is the internet. Your pity little insults don't phase me.
Anyways, I don't even know why i'm writing this. I need to get it all out someway. I don't want to talk to anyone face to face..So yeah.
This is the only way.