inuderf83

Twenty years ago, a doctor pulled me out of my mom and spanked me, and declared me a boy. That´s where I know he went wrong since I´m Bi I´m technically a boy but still I have a girlish side aswell. As I once read from someones profile (can´t remember who, sorry if you are the one who came up with it) "we all must be a little s.t.o.p. i.t. at some point. Just a little." Now don´t go getting cornfused (yes I ment to spell it that way) on me, I´m not one of those oh look I´m Bi look at me type of people. I´m the so what if I´m Bi it´s none of your business type.

Lets continue with:

Birthday: Nov 28
Birthplace: Roatan
Current Location: Roatan
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5’8
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: Mixed
The Shoes You Wore Today: Dressing black shoes
Your Weakness: I´m not telling
Your Fears: Needles, drug/dope heads.
Your Perfect Pizza: old fashion, cheese.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Head off to University
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: LOL
Thoughts First Waking Up: Oh shit, I´m late.
Your Best Physical Feature: Lips
Your Bedtime: Idk, 6 Am?
Your Most Missed Memory: is this a rhetorical question?
Pepsi or Coke: Coke and Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: Bojangles
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton Ice Tea.
Chocolate or Vanilla: From the mouth of a chocoholic. CHOCOLATE!
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino
Do you Smoke: no
Do you Swear: At times
Do you Sing: only in private
Do you Shower Daily: I´m only allowed one bath a year, Yes!
Have you been in Love: yes
Do you want to go to College: Yup, it´s my goal this year.
Do you want to get Married: Yes.
Do you believe in yourself: If I don´t who will? No man, most of the time. It depends on the situation.
Do you get Motion Sickness: last I checked, no
Do you think you are Attractive: hell yeah, I catch myself making out with myself all the time. Or that awkward moment when you´re kissing yourself in the mirror and you mom walks in the room, that happens a lot, well it used to. I know lock my door. LOL
are you a Health Freak: Yeah, exercise daily, and eat nutritious stuff a lot so yeah.
Do you get along with your Parents: Half and half
Do you like Thunderstorms: I prefer lightning storms, I love to sit at a window and watch the lightning strike.
Do you play an Instrument: Se-ve-ral
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol; no
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Don´t like fish, yeah I know first islander that doesn´t like the stuff.
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yes, I´m always on stage, part of my job.
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: +naughty look+ yeah
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Not that I know of
Ever been Drunk: Yes, several times
Ever been called a Tease: yeah
Ever been Beaten up: only by my mom some twelve years ago, lol my mom I meant to say my brother.
Ever Shoplifted: once a long time ago, but ended up taking it back my conscience killed me.
How do you want to Die: Fast and without knowing, or old, or not at all.
Do you fantasize on killing someone: +smiles+ you will never know?
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: An architect
What country would you most like to Visit: France, Japan

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Boy=black, green, blue. Girl=black, brown, green, blue
Favourite Hair Color: boy=whichever girl=whichever
Short or Long Hair: boys=short girls=long but short.
Height: any
Weight: athletic.
Best Clothing Style: Emo, or whatever
Number of Drugs I have taken: 1
Number of CDs I own: 60 not a big buy cd´s guy.
Number of Piercings: 58, no man I had 1 but got rid of it.
Number of Tattoos: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Numberless, that´s why I try not to think on the pass, I could have been studying right now.
Do you work: yeah, I´m at work right now.
Do you own a cellphone: yeah, two.
Can you cook: I should being I own a restaurant.
Do you create your own recipes or cheat of others: my own.
Have any kids: no
Want any kids: yeah, latter on maybe.
Know how to drive: yeah, automatic and manual. I think I should put it like this Manual and automatic, ´cause anyone who can drive a manual can drive automatic.

Some weird fact about me:
- I tend to sneeze if I eat/suck on any mints during cold weather or in an air conditioned cabin.
- I freak out if a crab touches me without me being aware that it´s there.
- I´m scared of horses.
- I´m somewhat double jointed
- I don´t like whores (sorry to those that are, come on put some clothes on.)
- I´m like the fastest puzzle solver in my town. I love playing Sudoku, word search, etc.
- I love to push people out of their comfort zone (not sexually).

-Australia
I like genre more, Horror would be my pick

Placebo,Boy like Girls,Breakin Benjamin, Coldplay, Casting Crowns, Nickelback, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Creed, Saosin, Switchfoot, Lifehouse, Goo Goo Dolls, Kill Hannah, Matchbox Twenty, Papa Roach, Pink, The Gazette, The Veronicas, Three Days Grace, Wonder Girls, Micheal Bublé, Paramore, Jason Mraz, Taylor Swift, Flyleaf, Queens, My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park, U2, Jay Sean (only for the song Down), Evanesance, Maroon 5, Disterbed, Good Charlotte , Fall Out Boy, Plain White T's, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Leona Lewis, The Black Eyed Peas, Simple Plan, Panic at the Disco, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Bullet for my Valentine , Green Day, System of a Down (I love lonely day), James Blunt

-listening to music
-Watching tv
-Italion foods, such as pizza, pasta, etc.
-drawing
-reading
-writting
-hanging out with my friends (I miss them all)
-Setting trends, not following them
-Randomness
-Raindrops
-poetry
-Driving
-Hicking
-Adventure
-Sharing an experience with someone
-taking control in scary situations
-dewdrops
-Cold mornings
-cold days
-bathing in the sea
-Animals in general
-Boys/Girls
-laughing spells
-traveling
-coming back home
-living
-water
-Planning
-taking naps on hot days
-Sipping tea on cold days
-watching the leaves fall
-Observing open surgery
-Eating a lot of fruits
-eating a lot of vegetables
-Watching guys walk, for some reason I see it so graceful and pathetic at the same time.
-hotsauce
-inventing new recipes
-Taking long walks on the beach
-sitting at the break of the water at the beach and just picking out the prety shells that uncover as the sea rolls back down.
-Taking long drives with the windows down and the music pounding
-having time to do all of the above.

-sluttish people (no offense to those that are)
-people that write like 7hi5 or ThIs.
-Annoying people
-and very depressed people.
-people that talk in the movies (and I´m not talking about the actors.)
-people that are full of themselves.
-hourses
-needles
-square buildings, they depress me.
-stalkers
-Posers
-people showing of in cars
-someone to turn the radio down when I´m driving
-Pressure into doing something I don´t want to.
-Abussers
-The scent of hospitals
-ridding in a packed elevator
-old movies, I mean really old ones.
-old music
-relish on my hotdog

passing the time with whatever I can get my hands on. if that is drawing, singing, doing puzzles, sudoku, etc.
I like to write aswell, I love spending a lot of stupid time with friends just shooting the breeze as the say. I talk about everything. I have one friend that makes me laugh at everything he says.

If you haven´t noticed that I like to draw, but there is only one thing with me drawing I only get the insperation when people tell me what they think about my drawings, that´s why I´m begging you to go and comment all my drawings even if the comment is harsh or not, it doesn´t matter it helps me grow...

Oh and I love playing Guitar Hero. I´m so glad I bought it.

I can´t decide which one. So I will tell you the type that I like to read, Mystery, Horror, comedy; yeah that about covers it.

Now a little something I wrote, Hope you like it.
Do not copy my work it is ©



Memories



2002

I stood there in awe at what I saw. I couldn´t believe it, I could feel the floor slipping under me.

~~

August, 1998.

It was my first day of school, Miss Emma, my fourth grade teacher, announced me in front. There I stood as shy as can be, not one word could leak out of my lips not one sound.

She sat me next to Zack, I found it weird that he would sit there and stare at me for what seemed like hours without blinking, and all I could do was think that I had something on my face. The word seeped out of my mouth “what!?”

~~

September

After weeks attending school, Zack and I quickly became the best of friends. Every day he would come over to my house and we would play till night fall.

One night I saw the first tear fall from his face as I sat next to him asking him to stay over.

~~

Two days later I found out that Zack was homeless. His mother was all he had left. There was a fire burn, taking with it, his little brother, father, and all his possessions.

~~

March

A couple months have gone by since. After school we walked together to my house, passing the train station, and onto the train tracks to a shortcut he knew. We stopped to rest, overlooking the river he sat back on to me. “Do you think that things will be better in the afterlife?” with a tearing voice he said. Getting up from where I sat and grasping a pebble in my hand “I don’t think so; I like life as it is. If it was any other way I would not have met you.” I said as I pitched the stone in the calm river. He smiled at me “your right. But sometimes, I wish I was in your shoes and you in mine.”

~~

May, 2000

A year after, Zack and I celebrated his welcome home. His room was tight and small but there was no explaining the happiness we shared that day. I even slept over.

~~

May

His mom was making it out, she was climbing. I can even remember their first used car. The smell it had the first day she picked him up from school. Even though they lived thirty minutes away from my house she insisted to carry me home. We both sat in the back, his hand next to mines and smiled from ear to ear as I told him “congrats”

~~

Two years, has gone by and my dad is out of a job. He had been on job search for the past month.

~~

My dad took us out to celebrate, Zack joined in the celebration. As we sat at the table my mom asked “What are we celebrating?” my dad, delayed a bit, but one big smile filled his face. He couldn´t help it he just had to say it. “I got a job.” I could see my mom thinking on how to put it. “Honey, I know you got the job.” “It´s better than you think, I´m the General Administrator of A&T Construction!!” everything went silent, I could see people moving their lips but no words would come out.

~~

Three months later, my birthday cake sat in front of me. Thirteen candles lit. I heard someone say, make a wish. My eyes shut tight, I then blew.

Zack staid at my house that night, around ten my mom walked in the door “to bed, you two, and happy birth day again.” Even though mom said so, we could not help but to stay wake and talk. Talking about school, to cars, from one thing to another, till finally he asked “how does it feel to be a teen?” I quickly answered “the same…Just that now, I think I have a little more responsibility.” He sighed and wished me good night, while turning his back, and wrapped himself with the thin blanket. I could not help but to watch his silhouette in the moons dim light, the way his body would form that fine line like an expensive European car. He startled me as he catches me watching him. “What are you doing?” his words were like razors and lemons, I could not find myself to telling him that I was watching his beauty. I didn´t know nothing till he was up and into my bed. Laying on the edge of the bed, he grasps my hand in his and wraps it around his chest. I just lie there feeling the warmth of his spine, sifting of on my chest, total happiness.

~~

Days after, school was done. We had to celebrate, he came over that night, and we begged my mom to let us go out and by some slushiest. She accepted. Along the walk he pulled out of his pocket a small bottle and said that we have to celebrate this the right way. I didn´t want him to know that I was scared of drinking. But he made it seem like a delight. I watched as he placed the bottle to his mouth and wrinkled his face to the taste, his blue eyes shut closed and his wet bangs dangling in front of him. He hands me the bottle, I place it to my mouth, and drank. I didn´t even pay it any mind, I didn´t mind the taste, as long as I knew that it was with him. Before time we both were so drunk that we could hardly stand, laying down on the grass, his eyes shut and his jaw opened he said “I know that you like me, I can tell. You´ve liked me since fourth grade, and I just want you to know that I like you too.” or at least that´s what I wanted him to say. I could not picture anything more than to press his lips against mine. With inspiration filling my head, I leaned forward caressing his chin with my fingertips, I pull him towards me and press my lips against his. His lips once cold now warm, kisses me back. He pushes me away “this will ruin everything. We can´t do this…”

~~

Four days later, I stand in Zack´s room, hovering over his corpse, a glass of water next to him, and a bottle of prescribed pills spilled over on the other side. He laid there as if sleep, but no breath came from his body; almost in fetal position he grasp his last breathe. I stood there in awe at what I saw. I couldn´t believe it, I could feel the floor slipping under me.

In minutes to red lights flashed in from the windows. My eyes filled with tears, as I saw my one love, my only love dead in front of me.

Could I live on?